Thursday 29

Happy birthday SeyiO*
Jay went to see a couple of friends, I didn't bother to ask for details. Yesterday he said Biggie was finer dan me cuz i said she was random. Then he said I was random, but i didnt complain. Then he said that ehn cux i dont enter bus & i go to cinema & Blah blah blah shar, that i think im not random & i basically didnt care because its in the blood.
sha we kept going back and forth, him taking on me, me on him, then he said that but random chick lyks the bad guy. I said yeah. Then he said, Bad guy likes random chick a lot! so he said i hope there are no challenges. I said yeah there is One challenge, he said what? I said " you are too proud, he said ok.
Then i said the day i get tired of living with all his problems I'll leave because there are people that woould treat me better & i'll be the only one. and he said" I hope its not any time next soon.
I said " It could be next week."

I never left him. he somehow always found a way to rope me into his drama. He left me eventually.

This is an entry from my journal when i was 16 or 17. it was my first year in Uni. and I had just met the prototype of boys that had my mumu button.

The only thing I can tell 17 year old me is this- If a boy refers to himself as a bad guy. Run.

as fast as your legs can carry you. Bad is the worst prefix to the word boy. only outshone in badness by the word "Yoruba".

If a boy speaks to girls and you aren't comfortable with it- Don't call them random. It reeks of jealously and jealously is unattractive.

And threats of leaving with no plans to leave are just sad. and pitiful.

And finally if i knew then what i know now. Lord knows I would have let Jay make a decent girlfriend out of me. Because it turns out we had one of those extremely long ass underground relations- I thought i was comfortable with.

Oh if only i knew all this then.

Jay is one of the few boys who I see today and i have no resentment for. We have the most amazing relationship currently- The kind where we don't talk for months, and when we do, we just pick up where we left off. none of  that so you have abandoned me talk.. and  being with him then- It was a huge eye opener to how boys/men were. He would always have a special place in my heart.

Fallen

Wud up. Yesterday wuz da minx and i went without telling mummy and sha i had a good tyme. i think. Taiwo did not come. idiot like him. I'm gonna insult him when i mail him now. sha yawa now came and i slept outside for the first time without mummy's permission
Later called Tony a bout 9oclock . he said it wuz nice talkin' 2 me and dat he would dream of me. and im thinking im ur younger sisters mate. He's like i should give him a chance 2 show how much he ikes me and crap like dat. N. E ways I met Flow* and danced with him like crazy and everybody wuz watching us and tony's friend told him dat he saw his friend. The he asked me " or arent we friends?" I'm like- I think. He's like- u think?
I said " okay, think yes, you decide whatever.

Turns out I've been at back to back partying for a while. LOL.
I remember repeatedly checking my yahoo mail for emails from taiwo, because it was either the land line or emails. and GOD FORBID my sister pick up the phone and find out he as calling me.

15 year old me should have given tony a proper chance.

He would have been a more devoted " friend" than Taiwo.

But at 15, i actually thought yoruba boys were the shit.



Note: I've found it increasingly difficult to write about both boy, but they are always there in my journals. popping up randomly here and there. Its difficult because both are late, and while i remember them fondly. I regret not getting closure.

Senorita- Sometime In December

Friday nite. 1 day to omo's party... Onome, Alhaja, Tina and Barbara went 2 Lgbaja ova nite. Meanwhile taiwo, kenny, ife and I were roasting. so we ( ie ife, taiwo and I) watched carnal desires while kenny browsed. Then Taiwo and I watched scary movie II. Saturday. Omo's party rocked man. everybody came. After i went to 45 with taiwo and kenny for the sign. I wuz wit taiwo 4 like d whole party cuz he bought me a drink which we shared. Ok. i took 3(cancelled and replaced with 4) gordon sparxxxxxx and i didnt get drunk. Probably cuz i wuz with taiwo and we were dancing then i sat on his laps and he almost kissed me ( kissed me circled around in stars) ( i think) Then i met Tony _ Jennifer in Z's brother. i boboed that i wuz in ss3 and he chopped maybe cuz i danced with him and he's in yr1 @ lag doing bio-chemistry. Saw temi, mope, Nji, yetunde, Tope, JennyU and ify amajor... Nice party

I'm cringing at the rubbish 15 year old me did. Sharing a drink in the club.
And staying with a boy because me bought me a drink?

AND DRINKING GORDON SPARXXX. FOUR BOTTLES???

Obviously the 15 year old me was smitten with Taiwo. I mean who watches porn ( yeah Carnal desires was porn, or some movie about a massage therapist who fucked all his clients) with a boy and sits on his lap at the club the next day, if she doesn't want the kiss?

And I'm pretty sure a kiss was involved, my writing is a bit too disjointed- evidence of excitement WHICH could only result from being kissed at the club.

at 15 what more could a girl ask for?